I have had this idea for a while. I want to write a story where we all write different chapters. It will be ongoing and on this site. Any ideas or suggestions?

The person you love to love.....

I have become the Idea I've always idolized. (This idea alone is crazy to me. That I could be for someone what I've always looked for. That I could let someone down from a position that I could never, ever in a million years occupy. I'm not here to rescue you I can't even save myself... but- maybe together we can create something beautiful. Our own perfect idea of utopia where we are simply as we are...perfectly imperfect)

I've looked at women as ideas, something to totally complete me. Something totally perfect, created inside my head to be my intellectual complement. They are always movie characters that I can feel and see and talk to. My very own personal Kate Winslet, Scarlett Johansson, Helena Bonham Carter, Natalie Portman. Its always the fucked up girl in the corner of the party that isn't going with the flow. With the mysterious eyes and a story to tell. Indie cred to boot and she knows all my favorite movies and all the bands I don't know I like yet. Yet she is human so human. My Natalie Portman has dirty fingernails and calloused feet. My Kate Winslet has a drug problem. My Helena Bonham Carter is just as scared of the world as I am. Me and my Scarlett share an affinity for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and are laughingly awkward. They are not ideas they are people and that's a damn shame. They let me down and pick up the pieces from the pedestals we put each other on. I am just as fucked up in all the ways I silently pray they aren't. But with each conversation, situation, missed phone call, and disappointment the make up fades and what is left is just as beautiful as everything I've ever thought it could be. To all of you and you know who you are I love you so very much and am so thankful to have you in my life exactly as you are. Thank you for inspiring me and letting me know it will always be OK.

3 28 11 27

A tad bit smaller than Grand Central Station and encompasses a more welcoming feeling, there I was. I walked up the stairs off the train. Philadelphia. My first time visiting and had an overwhelming mixture of emtions. Traveling alone has never scared me. My persona seems to attract and I enjoy that. He got up to throw away his trash. If you look to the right as we go over this bridge, you can see the NYC skyline. I smiled, nodded, and thanked him. I already knew the information he was giving me but I was so amused by the fact that I was going to have a tour guide for the next couple of hours that I just let him think he'd taught me something new. My thoughts... he lives for that. He was a frequent traveler, I could tell. The employees on the train knew him. "Where are you going young lady?" he asked. I smiled, sat proud, "Philadelphia" I said. He didn't ask me what I was going for or why I was alone. I think he had already created his own version of my story... and in fear of ruining that, he avoided the truth. Maybe his story was right on, maybe it was far off. He was interesting. Probably near about 65 years old. His hat had a feather in it, it was, for some reason, comforting... his feather in his hat. Why? I'm not too sure... maybe he reminded me of someone.. I don't know. We had a great conversation about the history of Pennslyvania until he left me in Newark Penn Station. So from there I rode alone, in silence, to think about the events that would take place over the next couple of days.

Never had I thought it would be so perfect.

..........i dont even have a clever title for this garbage.......

I feel like I've been stuck in this slump for too long.
My inspiration is gone.
Writer's block has piled it's rocks high this time.
I sit, and I try to write. I know that I have it in me.

It's so frustrating to know that the potential and the passion is there
And not coming out!

I even went back and read through my writing portfolios of old stuff I wrote.
I went back hoping that it would spark something inside me.
Hoping that it would somehow bring back whatever it was I lost.

I was so creative. I had visions and I wrote them down.

What is blocking my imagination? Not even imagination, my ability to express
Thoughts and feelings effectively.

So I sit here today. I opened this "new post" screen hoping that if I looked at it long enough I would have some sort of inspiration or at least something interesting to say. So here I am, I feel the need to write but I don't feel the ability right now. I want it back.
I need it back.

My brain is still working, it's just not communicating with my ingenuity!!

better late than never

I finally felt it.
11 months it took.
I looked at you, and I felt this incredible wave of warmth inside me.
I worried for almost an entire year that it would never come,
I felt like I'd just settle for what it was...
A friendship for me and a crazy-in-love thing for you.
I was jealous, I wanted to feel it.
I loved you, I do love you,
And now I know that I'm IN love with you.
I never thought that it could take me so long,
I figured it was a lost cause, but I'd settle
because it's better to be loved than to be alone.
And to think I almost threw it away.

When I looked at you,
At that moment I could have cried.
I waited and was convinced that moment wouldn't come for me.
And then, when least expected, it hit me.
I knew that I need you in my life.

They always say, patience is a virtue
I think I've finally acquired that virtue,
And with it a love to last a lifetime.

I looked at you through the corner of my eye.
Cataloging your faults, and trying to see if you had figured out mine.
Letting the miles pass us by.
I don't like the way your mouth sits,
and I hope you don't mind all the blemishes I posses.
When you touched me for the first time
I didn't feel that electric emotional shift I'd been hoping for.
That's too much pressure I've concluded to put in one moment,
let alone another man.
Because I did find comfort in our conversation,
the way the words just escaped me.
I love the idea of being the person I want,
and not the one I was in front of you.
Maybe your mouth has to be positioned a little less then perfect,
in order to make your words more sincere.
Maybe love doesn't have to begin with all the dynamics of a great love story to be real.
I don't want a wildfire romance that will burn out soon.
I'd rather have a relationship that can weather any storm with passion so true.
We ended the drive, recapped the night,
and laughed at the awkward silence before saying goodnight.
As I drove off I wondered could this be the beginning of something worthwhile...

3 Things

3 things i hate about you:
1. you're a hypocrit in regards to some things. in your eyes i will always be compared to her.
2. you've hurt me more times than i can count
3. you can never just be my friend you always question our relationship. i wish you would just let it be.


3 things i like about you:
1. you're passionate and we can talk for hours about everything and nothing
2. your curiosity for history and the way you speak
3. the fact that you question things that most people accept and you're willing to admit your faults




3 things aren't enough.