Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Goodbye illusion Goodbye my dreamer Goodbye and along your journey Godspeed No remorse nor ill will I wish you For we were never meant to be Though we tried and tried we did Time and time again Fate and odds were never in our favor But we strove against them tete a tete Till the score was even but we would never be And so you lie cased in glass inside my memory A wistful smile crack of voice wisp of golden hair You've become a relic a mental souvenir So goodbye dear friend a glass I raise to you For times we never had and never will to these I bid adieu
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
It's so funny to me how the adult mind works. For the longest time I had dreams, hopes, and ambitions. Then, slowly, the reality of life set in and and stripped them one by one from me, like a dancer's dignity at Mr. Happy's on a Tuesday night. I had settled into the mindset, that "this was it." I have a job, I can be thankful for that, and this job pays my bills. I had thought that at my age-there wasn't much more I could ask for. That lasted for a long, bitter, time. And suddenly, when you realize, that life is what you make of it-the dreamer in you comes back to life. Sometimes it takes the spark of someone else's ambition or success, and sometimes it just reincarnates in you. I always prided myself on being a dreamer as a kid... and when I lost it- I thought that it was all foolishness. But now I see that it was foolish to let any of it go. I have as much time left on this earth as God sees fit... it could be minutes, hours, days... decades. So I'm going to make every single one count, and dream ever second of every day of the things I can, may, and will do. I think my biggest motivation right now, comes from knowing that if I can achieve certain dreams I have, that people I love will inadvertently have their dreams come true too. That my driving force- the success and happiness of those around me, and then my own. A lesson learned the hard way... is still a lesson learned. It's never to late to dream.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
I've always been somewhat of an "intellect." Not because I'm necessarily intelligent or smart-but because I've always enjoyed learning. Whether it was learning at school, learning through reading, or learning through observing; it has always been a pleasure of mine. It's only natural that I'm a trivia nut. Trivial Pursuit? Sign me up. Trivia night? I'm there. Any sort of game that's Q&A facts has my name written ALL OVER IT. Naturally, I'm a Jeopardy Junkie... and it's been a dream of mine to be on the show for a while now. So this year... I decided I'd register for the online test, and tonight's the night!! I'm excited-but also being very rational about it. I know that I may be very unlucky with the categories and questions. I know that 15 seconds to answer a question which may require a bit of memory recall is going to be rough, and I also realize that there are THOUSANDS of others that are also taking the test-and that even if by a miracle I did extremely well on the test, I may not get a call for an in-person interview due to how many people are trying to get on the show. You figure... 5 shows a week... 3 contestents per show (but only 2 NEW since one is a returning winner)... in a year-there are only ROUGHLY 500 contestents. My chances of getting on the show are so slim it's depressing. But it hasn't lessened my excitement to participate in the online test!!! So... here goes nothin!!! Perhaps I'll be one of the very lucky 500. Some one has to win, right????
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
I'm that cliche person right now... Sitting in a coffee shop. Looking SOOOOOOO hip with my macbook. And even cooler because I'm actually drinking COFFEE. I've typed about 32 beginnings to this. You know how that goes. When you're "in the mood to write" but you sit down and nothing crosses your mind to put down. One sentence... backspace backspace backspace. "No, this is going on a blog... I certainly have to sound much cooler than I appear to be right now." You know, I'm sitting here and I can't write because I'm so concerned with what everyone else thinks I'm up to here. Do they think I'm a student? Or some poor legal secretary doing work after hours just to keep up with the pricks at the office who are always on my back? Or am I some brooding artist desperately trying to cultivate my "big break" piece?? If I could read minds... I'd NEVER GET ANYTHING DONE. Who am I really? It's so unimportant and pedestrian you'd cut me off mid sentence--"ok, I get it, you're average, at best. So is your job." You'd be right. I have somehow landed a job that pays me more than I'm worth, and essentially, I have NO idea what I'm doing. I can go through the motions and mechanically complete the work expected of me, but please don't ask me why I'm doing what I'm doing. More importantly... back to the coffeehouse people. Look at me, wonder what I'm doing. Wonder if I'm important. WISH YOU KNEW. Most of what everyone does on a day to day basis in the public eye is meticulously orchestrated in their minds to create an appearance far more important than the reality of it.