Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Scared shitless but wanting it so bad. My only saving grace is that you'll save me. I'll sit back for now and pretend like I'm a wall when really am an astroid waiting to combust. You'll find out a year from now, don't worry. I'm not lying, I'm just a great actor. Perhaps I'm in the wrong profession. We talk on the phone and you'll say I said it with a smirk. Sure, you know my facial expressions when I speak but do you really know what you're getting yourself into? Play it cool but what I really want to say is lets run away and leave it all behind, take care of me, love me me for all time. You can't say that, you'll sound crazy but aren't I crazy anyway even if I'm just thinking it? And for the one that let me get away- good for you. It's probably the smartest thing you've ever done. But for now I'm content being that one you saw standing under the street light that night. The one you had to gather the courage to talk to. I'll fall for all your words as you will for mine. Don't worry, I'll be just fine.
Shut up. Shut up. Your chatting with no meaning. Never mind i don't mean the things I'm not saying. Beneath my love lies a layer of disgust. Disgust at my image mirrored through your eyes. I can love you but why cant I love me. Just for once second lets switch places and fall in love with us. The clarity through your eyes is blinding, its overwhelming my senses. As my vision adjusts my other senses erupt. Do i really sound like that why do you smell so weird. Now i know why nobody cared but me. Because I do staring back at you it hits me I cant help myself so ill help you. Isnt it the same isnt it a shame. So that's why you love me I love me I hate me I hate you I love you. Its all the same isn't it.