Monday, October 10, 2011

Cruel Monster

I am currently in a deep dark soul sucking bout of depression. The kind that makes you question everything about yourself, your life, and the people in it. Everytime this happens it feels like it will never end and everything I feel is not only true but more true than anything I feel when I'm not depressed. This is more than just crappyfeelings this comes with its own physical symptoms. I have a tightness in my chest and a shortness of breath, my head is foggy, and my nerves are constantly on edge. I want this feeling to go away more than anything. I hate it, it robs me of being myself. I feel like a morose zombie walking around nodding at others not wanting to partake in any social activity. Hating people for no reason a cloud of negativity gathers around me. I can honestly say that the majority of my 28 years on earth have been spent this way. Happiness is to me what depression is to others-fleeting, temporary and not indicative of who they are. I must beat this monster for it has already taken more from me than it ever should've.

1 comment:

nicoleades said...

I know this was posted a long time ago but you are not alone. I hate the red meanies.