Wednesday, August 19, 2009

we're too different

the other night as i sat across the table from you at dinner
you finally opened up to me about what happened to you
"i'm damaged goods" you said. "the only person i've talked to about this in 3 years is dead." you probably should go to therapy.
i offered to listen to you so you can talk to someone about it
but i could see the gears turning in your mind as you disregarded that option
you told me that you had put your heart on the line and she broke you
and to this day you're still so angry
three years later
even though she's marrying someone else
you said that you didn't care for a long time. about anyone except yourself.
and you used girls to your advantage even though you didn't give a shit about them
you looked me right in the eye and said "you're all the same. you all think you're the one who is going to fix me."
i was taken aback because that was perhaps the most honest thing you've said to me in ten years.
and the worst part about it is that i used to be one of those girls.
who fought to keep you
until i realized you weren't the person i thought you were and that we're too different
however. you still don't know to this day what you did to me
you said "i don't know what i did to deserve to be hurt so much."
you don't know. to this day.
i felt like screaming "IT WAS ME. YOU HURT ME!!!"
how could you not know?!?!
i loved you for six years. SIX YEARS!
thank God that part of my life is over.
karma is a bitch. and i am too for thinking you got what you deserved
for never loving me back
all in all i'm glad i'm over that part of my life
just boggles my mind you still don't have a clue
i'm better off and i've grown up since then
but how can you still not know?

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