Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Why do I have such an apathetic attitude towards my future. I have plans and desires, yet my motivation to reach and complete my goals is lacking, to say the least.
I have a lofty goal set as far as my degree is concerned... and I think my problem comes in with my current situation. Having the necessity for the full time job which I currently have (due to debt I've foolishly accrued), I am forced to go to night classes which is proving to be a difficult and lengthy process. All at the same time I'm in a position where my hearts true desire to be a wife and mother is thwarting my career ambitions. I still want to graduate and attain my numerous degrees required for my desired vocation, however, my brain is saying... "why bother? If I'm going to be at home raising children, what's the point of spending my time, money, energy, and what is left of my early twenties on this education which may never be put to practical use?"

I haven't given up on my ambitions, by any means. However circumstances have set me back even further because of stupid college course scheduling. This just adds to the frustrations!!
And as time wears on the reality of marriage and children becomes more present and pressing.

I just needed to complain...

1 comment:

willowchronicles said...

It took me 5 and a half years to obtain my BA, because of your exact frustrations. The man that changed my cynical views on love, marriage, and children gave a hand too. He brought out a softer side of me, and made me think well eventually I'll be a Mother, and want to stay home to be there for my children.

I must say though the best feeling was taking my last final in November, knowing that when I do settle down, and start my family I'll have something to show for myself.

Good luck on your journey, and kudos for continuing in the stuggle.